IF ONLY I HAD MORE MONEY...

Money, money, money...

I'm not sure about you, but I am so tired of the constant barrage of ads on social media trying to lure me to their sites, all with the promise of 'making money...an easy and bullet proof way.' It's that hook: "I made $20K in my first month. Let me show you how :)"

No thank you!!

Perhaps when you get to my age, you become very skeptical of these modern day 'snake oil' dealers-in fairness, not all of them are. Then again, I don't think age automatically hands you an immunity card to them. In fact, it was only a while ago that I too was falling prey to their promises-- clicking on their links so full of hope and expectancy, ready to learn all the necessary steps that almost guaranteed success---as long as you put in the hard work. Oh yeah, and it's gonna cost you ex amount of dollars to get started. BRUH!!

So what compelled me to click theses links ? Well, probably several reasons-perhaps you can resonate. I thought:

1. My sense of self worth would improve.

2. My financial lack would disappear-no more stress

3. Extra money would fix my relationship(s)

4. More money would bring me security (That was a big one)

5. I could finally live my dream life

Now don't get me wrong, money can do almost all of the above-but to a limited extent. If your car broke down, or your mortgage was due (along with an unexpected bill), or an out of pocket medical treatment is required or any other of the myriad moments when extra money would be so, so helpful, then yes, having that financial abundance would be a wonderful thing. And it would certainly help alleviate some of the stress and probably bring some sense of happiness. But the truth is that money can't fix any of the above.

After doing a couple of on-line marketing courses, this saying became very clear: Sell them what they want, but give them what they need. In other words, if lack of finance is your pain point, then that is what they will appeal to. This pain point or lack, however, points to a deeper need. A deeper need that you are most likely not aware of. Let me illustrate by using the 5 reasons noted above.

1. My sense of self worth will improve. How logical is it if my sense of self worth was to be tied to a dollar figure? Who determines what that figure will be? And if I have tied my self worth to this, then you can be sure that I have also tied your worth to a dollar figure. Have you ever been trapped in conversation with someone who loves telling you about their wealth? Sometimes it's not outright-they just like to talk about their stuff or how much they make. It's nauseating! It's having to listen to someone hell bent on making sure that you find them impressive. And by them, I mean their external stuff. 'How amazing am I!!' Your self worth is what you really believe about yourself. Not what you try to portray to others and have them believe. It's what that tiny voice in your head says to you about yourself. This is an inside job. Nothing or no one external to you can determine your self worth. With the previous logic, when your bank account is healthy, you feel great about yourself. When your bank account is low, you feel crap about yourself. You simply swing between the two. A healthy perception of yourself is an inside work-and only you can do that.

2. Financial lack will disappear - no more stress. Getting or making more money does not automatically guarantee abundance. It is a known fact that the more we make, the more we seem to spend. Creating wealth requires two skills: knowing how to make money and knowing how to manage money. Two skills. You can increase your income, but unless you know how to manage it, you will find yourself back at square one.

3. Extra money will fix my relationship(s). That will certainly be a road to disappointment. Lack of finance can bring an element of stress to a relationship. But if we are thinking that the problems in the relationship would be so much easier to deal with if we had more money, we are deluded. The lack simply masks far deep issues. Here's the question: Would having the ability to go on holidays, spend nights in the city in a plush hotel room, eat out more frequently, pay bills without juggling the budget--or whatever else you dream of--change the way you speak, treat and think about each other? If I am struggling with hurt, bitterness or frustration toward my partner, how is $100K going to change that? It might provide a distraction at first, but at some point, we would have to go back and deal with the hurt, bitterness or frustration. They don't simply dissolve. In fact, it would be more accurate to say that they will increase.

4. More money would bring me security. Firstly, I would say go back and read point number 2. Unless you have those two skills under your belt, you will not be achieving financial security. Secondly, financial security is not a guarantee. We only have to look at the world today and the financial crises across the globe. People who had their security tied to property, stock exchange, crypto and etc. There are no guarantees. There is nothing wrong with preparing financially for your future, however, be comfortable with the fact that nothing is guaranteed in this world. The matter of security is firstly an internal work. We need to be at peace with our future, knowing that it lies in the hands of God. We take responsible steps to provide for the years ahead, but we ultimately trust in Him alone.

5. I could finally live my dream life. Do you actually know what that dream life is? Take a day or week from your dream life and ask yourself whether you would be happy to live that day/week over and over and over and over and over again. Would you be bored? If yes, then it's most likely not your dream life. It was probably a dream holiday. The truth is that most people haven't taken the time to work out exactly what that dream life would look like to them-- on a day to day basis. Rather, it's this utopian idea floating about in their head. Money doesn't create the dream life-You create it. You bring it to fruition by knowing exactly what you want, creating a plan and then consistently doing the actions to get you there.

Most often, what we are truly seeking lies beneath the surface of material goods. Those matters can only be revealed and healed when we are willing to do the work within ourselves.

'As within, so without'.

It takes courage, however to push past the superficial and ask ourselves:

"What is it that I am actually wanting?" "What is the deeper need this lack is revealing?" "What are the self-destructive beliefs that I need to replace?" "What am I avoiding or fearing by holding on to my lack?" "What are the positives that this lack has brought me?"

Sometimes, the financial lack is our comfort zone--we might hate it, but we're use to this damning companion. We know how to handle it even if it causes pain. To leave this 'comfort zone', we must be willing to answer the questions that require honest self-reflection, vulnerability and courage.

Final note: those who have abundance, but continually need to get more and more, or driven to impress others with their 'stuff', suffer from similar internal conflicts.

The five points listed above are my personal discoveries of myself (with the help of a coach and mentor :) ) You'll need to discover yours.

LIVE BOLDLY

LIVE PASSIONATLEY